A Second Chance at Life – Pt 2: Finding Love as an HIV+ Woman

A couple of weeks ago, Precious Mwewa Kaniki shared her story of contracting HIV at age 14 and struggling to adhere to treatment until a medical crisis jolted her into action. She also talked about finding love, getting married and giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. If you missed her story, read it here.

Love is meant for everyone regardless of their status. One’s status should never determine the outcome of a relationship. Love, acceptance and understanding should.

We wanted to hear about her love story, so we asked Precious to share how she met her husband.

“l met my husband via Facebook. He sent me a message appreciating the work that l was doing as an advocate. He also mentioned that he was HIV positive and was already an advocate, which motivated me to continue doing the work that l was doing already. This was 2017, and a lot of young people were coming out in the open about their status.

His appreciation made me excited and curious, and prompted me to go to his Facebook page. It was blank yet he had mentioned being an advocate. l was disappointed and asked myself why he would lie about such a thing. Anyway, l made him join my WhatsApp group meant for young people living with HIV. When it comes to his advocacy, he is not as vocal as l am; he chooses to share his life in his safe place unlike me who is all over social media.

Experience is the best teacher and it has taught me that one’s status must never hinder one from being in a happy and fulfilled relationship. I know that there is a great fear of rejection when revealing one’s status, but one must never sleep with a person and then reveal their status later. Rejection is definite under such circumstances and it is unfair. Reveal your status before engaging in any sexual activity.

Be courageous when opening up. Tell them how you are being adherent to treatment and how you are doing everything you can to live a [healthy] life. Show how confident and aware you are about who you are. That’s how one can stand a better chance in building a solid foundation in the relationship.

How one got infected should not be an issue, at least that is what l think. After you find out your status, it is best to take the right steps. Accept it and eventually love, marriage and everything that comes with it will follow as long as you are upfront and confident in who you are.

Yes, my husband and l are both positive but that does not exclude us from having relationship troubles. We come from different backgrounds; we are different individuals trying to build a life together. The best way is to work together, forgive and work on the relationship daily.

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