“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” – Galatians 5:1
I can’t believe that I’ve been away this long, yoh! I missed walking the journey with you, dear soul. I’m happy to be back though, to finish the path we started together. Still showing up for yourself in gentle ways, huh? I hope you are. I long to hear your story, write to me some time. In case this is your first time here, please check the last step in this series here.
In the last step, we discovered the power of our thoughts and how we can redirect them to favor our healing and strengthen our forgiving muscles.
One of the ugly things about sexual violation is the potential it has to rob one’s voice, desire for pleasure, sense of ownership for one’s body, and sense of safety. It breeds toxic shame, shifted blame, loss of ability to set healthy boundaries, and the ability to dream or plan for a pleasant future. This makes it hard for a survivor to embrace beauty.
It can lead to a sense of not feeling good enough and thus contributes to the habits of working hard to earn love and acceptance, even sometimes in self-demeaning ways. I struggled with this for years. I didn’t know that it was an effect of unhealed trauma.
I didn’t know how to receive gifts. I didn’t imagine I was worth loving. I felt as though I existed to be used and make life better for others while ignoring and neglecting myself. I didn’t know that it was okay to show up undone, be seen, and be embraced. I never allowed myself to get to the point of vulnerability even with my friends because this cost me deep wounds in the past.
Though it’s okay to be vigilant, staying hypervigilant will keep us from receiving love from the right source. We may choose to close up ourselves with the desire to self-protect but sometimes that will keep us from receiving love from people who genuinely love us. We may end up losing great opportunities, closing off genuine souls from our lives in the fear of being wounded or because we feel we don’t deserve anything good.
I had a mind-shift one time during a therapy session when my therapist asked me if other people deserved love and a good life, what made me special? What made me think that God doesn’t love me? What made me feel that no one wants the best for me? I smiled because she had just switched on a button I never thought existed in my life.
She reminded me that God does not want us to labor for love. He loves us for who we are, His children. Unless I embrace His offer of love and grace, I’ll live my life laboring and begging for crumbs yet my Father owns the bakery. I got my light bulb moment. I’m grateful for the wisdom of my therapist. She found a way through my guarded heart and soon I began opening up to life.
So how do we embrace God’s freedom?
- The first step to freedom is acknowledging where we are, identifying what we lack, and accepting that we need liberation.
- Ask your Creator to reveal to you how to best embrace this freedom based on your personality, your need, and His good purpose for you.
- Choose courage to begin owning your voice, your story, your healing journey, your body, and your future knowing that though your cry for help was not honored, your power to choose healing was not taken away from you. You are healing.
- Begin caring for yourself. Be intentional about setting clear boundaries. Ask for what is rightfully yours. Leave spaces and patterns that no longer contribute to your growth and healing. Choose to dream again remembering that God has thoughts of kindness towards you and that He thrives in what’s impossible for us.
- Learn what God says about you and teach your heart to believe what is true.
- “The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.” Psalm 29:11 NIV
- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33 NIV
- “So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:36 NIV
- “Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27 NIV
- “May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.” – Numbers 6:26 NIV
- “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord bestows grace and favor and honor; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” – Psalm 84:11 NLT
- “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation].” – Matthew 11:28 AMP
- “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV
- Begin showing up for yourself in small ways. Soon that path will be strengthened in you, and you’ll walk in freedom, knowing that you have a place in this life that nobody can occupy the way you do. Don’t deny us the taste of your beauty.
Ever cleared a bush or a forest? Now embracing freedom is like clearing a forest or a bush to plant better crops. For us to clear the forest, we have to cut down one tree at a time, right? In the same way, when embracing freedom we begin claiming one area of our lives at a time. The deeper the misbeliefs, the deeper we’ll need to plant in the truths about who we are.
Remember, you don’t have to do this alone, reach out for support from trusted humans around. You’re no longer a prisoner to the perpetrator. Leave the prison and embrace life. You matter! Will you take that freedom walk away today? Go win!
Love,
Faith
Faith is a Children’s Content Creator at Learn & Grow enterprises, Storyteller and Mental Health Advocate. She tells her story to offer hope, help and healing to survivors of sexual trauma.