Dear Hopeless Romantic

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Don’t believe the hype, sis. Don’t let them sell you a lie. True love still exists. Real, committed, “you and me” kind of love. The twenty-first century will try to convince you that the safest way to love is not to love at all. Casual hook-ups and meaningless sex are the way to go. And if that’s truly your cup of tea, then have at it, sis. Don’t let this romantic true-love believer stand in your way. I’m talking to the one who feels like she must shut off or ignore the parts of herself that want to love and be loved. The one who still wants to see and be seen way deeper than the shell that houses the soul.

You are more than a collection of body parts. What substance makes up feelings? Of what material is passion made? Those are a very real part of you that cannot be seen or touched but exist nonetheless. To ignore them in order to scratch a physical itch will not satisfy you.

They will tell you that your standards are too high. But if I walk into a Louis Vuitton store and tell them their prices are too high, I promise you they will not bring them down for me. Let the one who can afford you find you.

You know they don’t make them like you anymore. You’re one of a kind. One in over seven billion. That’s rarer than any LV bag!

They will tell you that relationships require too much commitment and responsibility. Too many expectations, I’ve heard them say. Guess what. Any relationship is going to have expectations. Even in the most casual, no-strings-attached situationship, it is expected and required that you keep your heart out of it. You are required to disconnect from that intangible thing that nurtures feelings of fondness; fondness that might grow into…dare I say it…love! (Gasp!) When did that become a dirty word?

“It will end in tears,” they say. Well, okay…then let it. It’s a part of the human experience. Love and loss are a thing that exists. Sometimes it all works out. Sometimes it ends in tears. But we’ve watched enough romantic comedies to know that even the most self-involved and casual relationships sometimes get complicated (when someone fails to meet their RESPONSIBILITY to not get attached!)

Imagine having someone to love and to hold, someone who will commit to be there for better or for worse, who chooses to love you when you’re unlovable, who wants to be a witness to the rest of your life. Believe me, even YOU don’t know how bad you can get, so it’s a big deal when someone’s son says he wants to stick with you no matter what. You’re not a fool for wanting that. And you’re smart enough to know the risks too. People fight, people grow apart, priorities and interests evolve, bodies change, people cheat, people die, people forgive, people break up, or they don’t.

But if you want love, go for love! Don’t let them sell you a cheap version of companionship that doesn’t allow you to be vulnerable and free and open and corny and disgustingly romantic. Feelings develop naturally through shared human experiences, and for most of us, only solitary confinement would be able to avoid that.

If you’re a lover, LOVE! Don’t run from love for fear of heartbreak. You cannot eliminate all risk from your life to make it pain- and problem-free. In just being alive, you risk dying. Open your heart, and let love in. Live your life to the fullest, and share your beautiful essence with the one who makes your heart smile.

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