Doreen Moraa is one of 5 children born to a discordant couple, meaning one is HIV-positive and the other is HIV-negative. Three of her siblings were born HIV-negative while Doreen and one other sibling contracted the virus.
1. Inherited issues
Sometimes the issues we struggle with our ones we had no hand in. They were passed down from our parents, maybe even grandparents. What happens when somebody else’s choice becomes our story? Is it easier to bear because you know you are not at fault or does the fact that you had no choice in the matter induce anger and resentment?
We don’t get to choose the circumstances were born into, but we can find comfort in knowing that an all-knowing God allowed both the good in the bad to occur. And if He allowed it to happen, He has a unique purpose for it. Instead of focusing on the negative impact our circumstances bring, we can choose to embrace our reality and trust God‘s wisdom. Doreen chose to embrace her diagnosis and speaks publicly about it on her YouTube channel.
2. Investigating fear
Some of Doreen’s family members were so afraid of contracting HIV that they set aside utensils for her when she visited them and disinfected them after she used them. They also disinfected her clothes and made her sleep in the living room instead of in the bedroom with her cousins. How her relatives treated Doreen contributed to her pain. This doesn’t make them bad people, but their fear was rooted in ignorance of how HIV is actually transmitted.
What I have found to be true for myself is that operating from a place of fear is destructive. Part of my unlearning as an adult is taking a look at my fears and asking myself if they are founded or illusive. Most of them, I discovered, are baseless and have not served me well. So what I am now learning to do is to stop feeding those fears.
3. Those who are for you will make room for you
Some settings can be rather harmful to our emotional health. At some point, Doreen decided she would no longer visit the relatives who treated her differently. There comes a time when you and I must take responsibility for our emotional welbeing and make choices that promote wholeness. It’s not selfish.
Read Doreen’s story below and tell us what you learn from it!