On an ordinary day in 2015, Danai Motsi, met a well-dressed man while she was working at a local medical centre. The man walked in with a friend who was ill.
“It was love at first sight,” Danai told The Weight She Carries. “Although I initially thought he was married. When he smiled his dimples showed.”
Time went on and the chemistry between the two grew stronger. After dating for six months, the couple was deeply in love and he paid dowry.
“We had our wedding in September 2016. Then, on July 29, 2017, he was involved in an accident with his friend, who only suffered minor injuries. My husband didn’t make it,” Danai said. “I remember we had spoken that night and he actually told me he was on his way home. His last text was ‘I love you, my wife.’”
The night her husband lost his life, Danai had been unable to sleep. It was a Friday night.
“I kept checking on him and we were talking, but we got to a point where he stopped responding to my texts and wasn’t answering his phone,” Danai recalled.
Danai became angry as she wondered where he was. It was around 2 or 3 a.m. by then. She dozed off for a while, but when she woke up, she noticed she had missed a call from her husband’s colleague. She called him back.
“He told me my husband had been involved in an accident. I did not ask much as I assumed he probably suffered a broken limb or something minor,” Danai said. “I woke up my brother-in-law who was staying with us at the time and told him what happened. We called one of my husband’s friends to come pick us up.”
Unaware that her husband was deceased, Danai sat in her bedroom and began crying, not knowing why she was so emotional.
“When we finally got to the hospital, we were told that he was no more and had to identify his body. I was consumed with emotions and cried hysterically,” Danai said. “He lay there with blood (all over his face). He was already cold. I couldn’t believe that barely a year after our wedding, I was a widow. I was only 27.”
“In the first few days, I lost a lot of weight. I did not eat and would lie about eating if asked. My bedroom was my (hiding place). I did not want to be asked how I felt because it got me emotional. I was very withdrawn and felt like I was losing my mind at some point. I stopped praying and going to church. I felt numb, confused and had so many questions. I was in shock.” – Danai Motsi
Danai moved back home with her parents and leaned on them for support.
“I felt like I had taken a huge step backwards and the world was laughing at me,” she said.
Family dynamics changed between Danai and her husband’s relatives. Initially, there was communication, but it faded away.
It has been difficult, but Danai is dedicated to her healing process.
“I’m 29 now and it’s been almost 2 years since the tragedy happened. We did not have any kids. We had quite a good relationship and great chemistry until the last days before his death when he succumbed to heavy drinking and was withdrawn.”
Despite her grief, Danai continues to put her trust in God.
“I am stronger than I ever believed myself to be, and God remains God…no matter what. The storm will always pass but the memories will last. I have also learnt that pain does not go away, you find a balance and learn to live with it. I know that what I went through was for a purpose.” – Danai Motsi
Her advise to women is to:
- prepare for tomorrow because no one knows what it will bring.
- be financially stable so that in the event your spouse passes on, you are capable of taking care of yourself…especially if you have kids.
- find out how best you can benefit from inheritance laws and always have your name on anything you buy together.
Danai plans to write a book about her journey and to share her story on different platforms in order to help someone going through the same loss.
