Anytime my body flares up and the pain is intense, I always think about other people living with chronic illness. And today, I can’t help but write to you, dear hurting human.
I see your pain. I see how confusing it gets when you have to put down everything to attend to your hurting body. I see how unpredictable this was for you. I see how hard it can be for you to pick up the phone and cancel a visit, hangout, or appointment. I see how you’re debating whether to send a message, voice note, or a phone call. I see how you’ve rehearsed the conversations in your head and how you’re tempted to overexplain yourself in an attempt to make the other person believe you.
I see how worried you are about how you’ll appear to be ‘unserious,’ ‘inconsiderate,’ ‘irresponsible,’ and ‘uncaring.’ I see how you’re afraid of losing a friendship because this is not the first time you’ve canceled.
While all these may be your current reality, I want you to know that you’re not evil for canceling a commitment to take care of your sick body. You’re not a disappointment for living with a chronic illness. There’s no shame in hurting. There’s no shame in being weak and fragile. We live in fragile bodies, and to be weak and fragile is to be human.
Even the good book says that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). So, will you please release the tension on your shoulders, drop your jaw a little, and breathe?
Nobody expects you to save the world today. You can’t. Nobody can. But you can do something to save your world that seems to be falling apart. I don’t know what that means for you. Perhaps it’s opening the window and taking note of the sounds of life around you, or maybe gathering the strength left in you to keep your body clean. Cleaning your body will remind you that though it’s hurting, it still matters; it still has irreplaceable value.
Perhaps for you, it’s having a spoon or two while taking breaks. Perhaps it’s moving from your bed to the couch or the floor while staying warm and supporting your back. Perhaps it’s adding an orange or lemon to your regular water or having your favourite healthy drink to hydrate your body.
What do you need right now? How can you meet that need safely? Who can assist you? Your life as it is right now matters. Your current season matters. Your creator is with you. Will you lean in to listen to His whispers, embrace His care, and watch how He’s moving in your life?
Lately, I’m open to learning that showing up looks different in every season. For me, showing up when hurting means slowing down while assisting my body to just go by each trying moment.
We may never have clear answers to the questions we have during our hurting seasons. You may feel as though you’re the only one whose life is disrupted by pain. But what I’m learning is that everyone goes through some hurting season in life.
For some, the pain may be visible, and for others, it’s not. Pain looks different to every person. And in those moments, it’s okay if all you can do to show up is breathe, sleep, eat, laugh at a meme, and hope.
I pray that God shows up for you today to meet your current need in His unique and loving ways. Your current season does not define you. You are more than your current pain.
Breathe; you are not alone.
Love,
Faith
Faith is a Children’s Content Creator at Learn & Grow enterprises, Storyteller and Mental Health Advocate. She tells her story to offer hope, help and healing to survivors of sexual trauma.