As I look down at my knees, I’m reminded of the pain and insecurity that have followed me for so long. The dark colour of my knees, a constant reminder of the abuse I suffered as a child, has become a symbol of my deepest insecurities. For years, I’ve struggled to come to terms with what happened and the impact it’s had on my life.
The memories of those moments still linger, like a shadow that follows me everywhere I go. I remember being forced to clean the house, scrubbing floors and dusting surfaces until my hands ached. My stepmother would criticize me, calling me lazy and incompetent if I didn’t do it just right. And to make matters worse, the other kids would tease me, calling me a maid because of the chores I was forced to do.
l responded with tears. I was just a child, barely old enough to understand what was happening, but I knew that I was being treated unfairly because some ladies from my dad’s workplace even whispered about it in my presence as well.
But amidst all the pain and humiliation, there was one moment that stood out. My dad, who had always been a quiet presence in my life, noticed the dark colour of my knees and bought me mutton cloth to cover them up.
It was a small act of kindness, but it meant the world to me.
For a long time, I hid my knees, ashamed of their appearance. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that I don’t need to hide anymore, and now I can wear skirts above the knees and not even think about it at all.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve also struggled with weight gain and the cruel comments that come with it. People always seem to find a way to point out my weight, whether it’s a snide comment or a kind suggestion to lose a bit of weight. It’s like they’re trying to remind me that I’m not good enough, that I need to change who I am to fit their ideal.
But I’m done hiding. I’m done letting the opinions of others define me. I’m taking back control of my body and my self-worth. I’m proud of who I am, knees and all.
I’m proud of the strength and resilience that’s carried me through the darkest moments. And I’m proud to say that I’m more than the sum of my scars.
