Fortunate Moyo claims her first husband abused her emotionally, financially and physically during the course of their 3-year marriage.
“lt feels as if l am still in that marriage to this day because of the painful experience l went through,” Fortunate told The Weight She Carries. “I would find used condoms in the car and if l asked, he would tell me that his clients had left them. This pained me a lot.”
“Abuse was my daily bread because he never wanted me to work so that l would beg for money from him. Even for basic food in the house, l had to plead.”
“The earliest memory I have of the first signs of abuse was in the first month of staying together when he took me out for shopping, handpicked everything for me and even pocketed the change. That is when I realized that I was in for a ride. I persevered for three horrid years because I was ashamed of what people would say if I had left that early into the marriage.”
Fortunate Moyo
Fortunate narrated a time when double tragedy struck within a short space of time. As her husband was taking a bath, his phone rang and she answered it only to realize it was one of his many women. When she questioned him, he beat her so badly that her eye still troubles her to this day, she said.
As this was taking place, their second child’s health was in jeopardy due to a collapsed fontanel.
“When l
took the child to the hospital, my eye was so red [and swollen] l could not
hide it. The nurses questioned me, but l lied and told them l had hit [my face]
against a door,” Fortunate said. “l did not lie to protect him but because he
was in hiding and was not going to be found easily.”
After the beating, Fortunate said she reported the matter to the police and was
crucified for doing so by her sister-in-law, who is also a police officer.
Her child whose health was already ailing took a turn for the worst and unfortunately passed away three weeks later. He was just 7 months old.
After they came home from burying their child, the police picked her husband up and that was how the chain was broken. It was over.
“My mother suggested l withdraw the case and leave immediately with her after the funeral and l did just that,” she said. “He was a cheat, a liar and very abusive. My advice to other women is to say no to domestic violence and that once you leave, do not look back because you can never teach an old dog new tricks.”
“He did apologize and begged me to reconcile with him but it was too late because I was tired of his ways. I did not regret leaving him at all. I had had it. Unfortunately he passed away in 2014.”
Fortunate Moyo
There is a similar saying in Shona, her native language: Shiri nemuririro wayo haiichinje (a bird that has its own way of singing is not going to change its melody). The pain of marrying the wrong person is much worse than waiting a little longer for the right person.
Fortunate is currently working in South Africa and is blissfully remarried to a wonderful man whom she loves dearly.
“This man has restored my peace and joy,” she said.
