She grew up with dreams like any other girl: to study abroad and have her prince charming sweep her off her feet. She didn’t know her life would take a drastic turn a few years down the line.
Sharon Mkandawire grew up in Chinhoyi, a small town in Zimbabwe which is home to the well-known tourist attraction, Chinhoyi Caves. Her mother owned a gift shop, and Mkandawire always encountered tourists and had a desire to travel.
In 2005, at the age of 19, Mkandawire left for Australia to study. Her mother, who was a widow, sacrificed all her savings to afford her daughter’s travel and other expenses.
“A few years later, I was in debt, failing in school and totally losing it,” Mkandawire told The Weight She Carries. “It was then that I decided to go back home for three weeks. All I wanted was a turnaround and to reinvent myself.”
Instead, her health began to decline after that visit.
“I got sick one morning. I just assumed it was the ground nuts I had eaten the night before, which I hadn’t had for a long time,” Mkandawire said. “I had a running stomach and excruciating pain that wouldn’t stop. After two days, I decided to seek medical attention.”
What she thought would be a simple check-up turned into a surprising revelation.
“The doctor was shocked after examining me. I was asked to go to the emergency department at a hospital close by. After an ultrasound, I was diagnosed with multiple fibroids,” she said.
Mkandawire, who is a nurse, was asked to wait for two weeks to see a gynaecologist. When she told her mother the news, her mother assured Mkandawire that a miracle would surface.
Life turned bitter when she finally met with the gynaecologist who gave her no hope at all.
“The doctor said she would only try to save my ovaries so that at least I would remain feeling like a woman, but there was nothing she could do about my uterus because it was deformed. She would have to perform a hysterectomy,” Mkandawire said.
She was 27 years old. Feeling she had no other option, she consented to have her uterus removed, but her mother interjected and still maintained that she would receive her miracle.
“After the visit to the gynecologist, I sat in my car for four hours, reflecting on all the dreams that I had growing up, and the fact that I had not achieved them. All the time I had wasted doing nothing about them, the debt I was in, my tummy that kept on increasing in size… I felt like I was dying,” she said. “I would hear voices telling me I was useless. That’s when depression struck.”
Mkandawire was in a relationship at the time, and her then-boyfriend seemed caring and sympathetic, always reassuring her he would stick by her and they would adopt in the future if her uterus could not be saved.
“On my 30th birthday, after I received a call from him, another woman called me and told me that I was the clingy, sick girlfriend and he felt bad to leave me because that would break my heart,” she said.
Mkandawire became suicidal, and called her friend to cancel their plans for the night.
“I took the sharpest knife and wanted to slit my wrist. But I heard my mum’s voice saying, ‘Sharon, my daughter, I’m so proud of you and you are my pillar.’ I dropped the knife. Suddenly, I heard sirens close to my house and a banging on my door,” she said. “Before I knew it, paramedics and policemen were everywhere asking me what I had taken and all sorts of questions. It all looked like a movie scene, and I was taken for a psychiatric review.”
It turned out that her friend whom she had cancelled her plans with sensed Mkandawire was about to do something terrible and called for help.
After this horrific event, Mkandawire said she decided to challenge God for a miracle.
“I looked up to the mountains and always said, ‘God, if you could carve mountains like that, you definitely can redesign my uterus.’”
Shortly after, she obtained permanent residency in Australia, began walking daily, worked through her pain and cleared all her debt.
“I became thin and looked pregnant. Some people would even comment that it was time for a baby shower,” she said.
Mkandawire became critically ill again, and the doctor who was treating her referred her to another gynecologist who Mkandawire felt a connection with. He was the first person to assure her that he could save her.
“I felt so relieved that I jumped up and hugged him. It felt like the miracle my mother always told me was coming,” she said. “I had been through so much, met many doctors and gone to so many churches, but had not found a solution to my problem.”
Mkandawire went through a 12-hour operation where the 1.25kg (2.8 lbs) fibroids where removed.
“My doctor was perplexed by how I had managed to make it for so long in my condition,” she said.
During the operation, Mkandawire experienced a lot of blood loss and ended up with a condition called Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation – a condition that affects the blood’s ability to clot and stop bleeding, which meant, if uncontrolled, she would bleed to death, Mkandawire explained.
“Normal blood level must be above 115, mine dropped to 47,” Mkandawire said. “But fortunately, after seven more hours of medical attention, I was stable.”
A few days after her operation, she decided she would share her story to inspire, educate and empower other women.
Mkandawire’s advice to other women and girls:
- Speak out
“Growing up in the African society, issues to do with the menstrual cycle are not openly discussed, what is known in the native language as “Jeko” (difficult and painful periods) is said to be genetic, but women should speak out and be able to empower each other on health issues,” Mkandawire said.
- Live life to the fullest
“If I can do it, anyone can do it. I made it a point to travel the world, and I realized that I had been missing out on a lot. After the pain I went through, I reinvented myself and travelled to Nepal, China, Hong Kong, Israel, Egypt, Jordan and Dubai,” she said. “Remember to thank those who stood by you. I took my mum to six countries because I am also proud of her, and she is the central pillar in my life.”
- Deal with your problems head on
Mkandawire didn’t close herself up in a cocoon when she was told she could lose her uterus, she kept on pushing.
“I hiked Mt. Everest Base Camp because I felt like I had conquered my own “Everest” (the fibroids I carried). I started eating healthy, exercised and travelled,” she said.
Mkandawire also firmly believes in surround yourself with the right people and encourages women and girls to always dream and believe.
Now 34, Mkandawire continues to work as a nurse and is also a motivational speaker. She has made it her mission to raise awareness on fibroids and other issues women face. She established the Juliet Edward Foundation, runs the Just Beautiful by Sharon page on Facebook, Instagram, website (www.justbeautifulbysharon.com.au), and is working on a book.
She is also planning to speak at several upcoming events in Zimbabwe in July. Among her achievements was the ability to hike to Mt Everest Base Camp one year after her life-threatening operation.
