Born three months early and diagnosed with cerebral palsy, doctors didn’t expect much for her. She would have a difficult life and achieve very little, they concluded. They were wrong. She has surpassed all the expectations placed upon her. Having achieved academic and professional success, she is now using her experience and expertise to encourage and empower other people living with disabilities.
Dara Cosby was born in 1981 three months premature and weighing only 2 pounds (0.9 kgs). Doctors fought to keep her alive and succeeded but discovered that she had cerebral palsy.
“The doctors prepared my parents to not have very high expectations for what I could do both physically and possibly intellectually,” Cosby told The Weight She Carries.
Although she required a wheelchair, her parents refused to place limitations on their daughter’s capabilities and had very high expectations of her. This fueled Cosby, and she was determined to exceed them.
“What I couldn’t do physically, I made up for intellectually. I was good in school. I had the drive to prove myself that way,” Cosby said. “Having my disability informed all of my decisions in terms of always having to prove that what you see isn’t all that I am.”
Cosby learned to advocate for herself, particularly when she realized that although she always set out to treat others well, they didn’t always have her best interests at heart.
When Cosby was 15 years old, she became suicidal.
“I told my mother that I was so sad, and I didn’t know how to get from under that. I didn’t want to be here anymore,” Cosby said. “My mother, being the wonderful woman that she is, took me seriously.”
Cosby began seeing a councilor and realized how important it was for her to take care of herself emotionally and physically.
She was sensitive to the needs of others and would take on other people’s burdens. Along the way, Cosby met and befriended other people with disabilities.
“I had a lot of friends that had one diagnosis, but they also had other health issues, and I lost a lot of friends,” she said.
Unable to go outside to play with her friends as a child, Cosby shifted her focus and discovered a new love.
“I love Hollywood and the act of movie making,” she said. “I think that stems from not being able to go outside or climb a tree or do those kinds of outdoor activities with my disability. I would get lost in television and film. That’s where I found peace and solace.”
Cosby excelled in her studies and obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Film History from Wright State University and did a lot of casting and behind the scenes work on student films.
“As a creative person, I’ve learned that everyone does have a story and it’s worthy of being told. For a long time, I fought that inclination because I didn’t want to feel like I was using my disability or exploiting it to tell my story. Now I’m learning that my story is valid. It’s different, it’s important, and someone could get something positive out of it. So, I need to do more writing, telling my story, and taking opportunities to share it.” – Dara Cosby
Cosby went on to earn a master’s degree in Community Counseling from the University of Dayton and is now a licensed professional counselor. As someone who has struggled with depression, she is uniquely equipped to help people dealing with challenges.
While she enjoys giving people the tools they need to work through their problems, Cosby recognizes the need to attend to her own mental and emotional well-being.
“Counselors have to do a lot of self-care because we are taking on a lot of people’s problems,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with being emotional. We don’t have to be perfect in order to be there for someone else.”
One hurdle that still needs to be eradicated is the stigma associated with seeking professional counseling, particularly in the black community. Cosby said things are improving as more and more people become aware and vocal about their need for professional help.
“There’s no age too young or too old to seek that kind of help,” she said. “We’re always changing and evolving as people. Our needs change as we get older and our lives intercept with other people. I think everybody could use an objective third party to check in with, and that is perfectly acceptable.”
According to Disabled World’s Annual Disability Status Report, roughly 10 percent of the world’s population – which translates to about 650 million people – live with a disability.
As someone born with a disability, Cosby said she hasn’t known a different reality but has made it her goal to enjoy life to the fullest and to help others achieve the same.
“It took me quite a while to get to a point where I could ask myself what I bring to the table. I would say to anyone with a physical disability or an invisible disability…there are more people than not who are dealing with something,” she said. “By allowing yourself to be seen and proud and vocal, you’re helping someone. You may not know it, but you are. You are valuable, and you bring all of your experiences to the table.”
Vimbai E. is a content marketer, ghostwriter, and the founder of The Weight She Carries. With hundreds of articles and stories publishing online, in print and for broadcast, her love of language and storytelling shines through every piece of writing that bears her name.