Dear Mirror,

A complicated relationship you and I have had over the years. As a baby, I marveled at you because you loved to play games with me. What a tease you were. You showed me someone who looked and acted just like me – she did everything I did! When I laughed she laughed, too. But I could never touch her.

Your little games were cute back then but I’m not laughing any more. You like to team up with Lighting and there’s no telling what you will do from there. Sometimes you two join forces and are ever so kind to me. You conceal all of my past indiscretions between those late-night brownies and I, and you leave me pleased at how good I look.

On most occasions, though, you two are heartless…especially in public. When it’s just us three, you show me the best refection of myself and we are all in agreement that I look stunning until I step out of the house. Then you change your mind.

The next time I see you, you and Lighting show me something completely different! That’s not cool. You are very inconsistent and I don’t like it. You wait until we are out in public before informing me that my cellulite is visible in this dress?  Then you show me that my legs are ashy – something you could have mentioned before I left the house, but didn’t.  And another thing: Don’t you remember you just showed me a flat stomach in the house? Where did all these rolls come from now that people are around? That’s very mean-spirited and a sign of poor character, stop it!

Don’t even get me started on what you and Lighting do in women’s changing rooms at the mall. It’s rather abusive, actually. You love to highlight all of the most unflattering parts of my body as I try on new clothes. Is that really necessary? Clothes shopping is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, but here you come putting a damper on everything. You really need to reconsider your ways.

The very worst thing you do, by far, is that you never tell me that my dress is see-through until it’s too late. This is hurtful beyond measure and I’m still dealing with scars from the past causedby this.

In the future, please be more considerate. If you notice something is out of place or doesn’t look right on me, please notify me in private. This business of putting me on blast in the streets is unbecoming.

I’ve often heard people say you are not to blame. I apologize if my rebuke is misdirected. Maybe Lighting should carry most, if not all of the blame? I don’t know, but enough is enough. Please relay the message.

Signed,

You Know Who This Is

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