Dr. Natasha Williams Opens up About Painful Divorce & Masterclass ‘Reclaiming your Superwoman’

She was well-established in her career as a clinical psychologist, had a thriving private practice and a lovely home. While things were going well for her professionally, she was fighting a private battle at home. One that led to a heartbreaking revelation in 2017.

Dr. Natasha William’s life looked perfect. She had three degrees under her belt, and after completing her internship at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, had opened up a private practice in the heart of Toronto.

Her journey to success had not been easy by any stretch of the imagination, but she was a go-getter. She knew exactly what she wanted and refused to let anything deter her from accomplishing her dreams.

In fact, in the years leading up to obtaining her doctorate in Clinical Psychology, Williams had been commuting back and forth between Toronto – where she lived and worked full time – and Chicago, Illinois, where her she attended classes. It was a 10-hour commute each way.

“The program I was in allowed me to complete me coursework over the weekends and still be a full-time student,” Williams told The Weight She Carries. “So, I commuted to Chicago every other weekend for three years by bus.”

Once she became a registered psychologist in 2007, Williams poured the same amount of drive and ambition into growing her practice. And it thrived.

The following year, Williams married a man she had know for years. The two had been friends for many years and their friendship eventually blossomed into a romantic relationship.

“At the beginning, everything was great. He was very supportive, understood what I had gone through, saw me traveling and doing everything I needed to do to get my degrees, and I really believed that he really appreciated who I was and what I had gone through to get to where I was,” she said.

The couple initially decided to wait to have children so they could both focused on their careers. Two years into the marriage, they decided it was time to start a family.

“We were trying and nothing was happening, so we went to a fertility clinic to figure out what’s going on,” Williams said.

Tests didn’t show anything alarming, so Williams and her husband figured they just needed to monitor her cycle more closely.

Williams became pregnant shortly after but suffered a miscarriage five weeks later. After grieving the loss, the couple decided to keep trying and had several unsuccessful rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI).

“We started with the typical fertility protocol which is IUI. We started a few rounds of that and that didn’t work. Then we did three rounds in total of invitro fertilization (IVF). That didn’t work either, so we decided to take a bit of a break.”

Meanwhile, Williams’ career and influence were soaring. She had become the Chair of the Board of Directors at Women’s Health in Women’s Hands, a Community Health Centre for black women and women of colour in Toronto, was the Ontario Psychological Association’s (OPA) diversity delegate representative at the APA State Leadership Conference in Washington D.C. in 2011, and was the Chair of the OPA Diversity Task Force at one point.

In addition, she became a board member of the OPA, a faculty member with the Bridge Training program for internationally trained mental health professionals, and a trainer for TAPE Educational services which provides professional development programs for clinical teams at healthcare centres and human services organizations.

Despite her professional success, the desire to have children remained. One by one, the couple’s friends and family members began celebrating baby showers and christenings.

“You have a lot of mixed feelings. You love these children, you love your family, and we were seen as the two successful people with successful careers, a beautiful home…people would congregate at our house for every holiday and ask the question, ‘You have all of this, when are you guys going to have your children?’” – Dr. Natasha Williams

The couple decided to try IVF again and had three more unsuccessful attempts.

“When you are unequally yoked spiritually, it really does take a toll,” she said. “(My then-husband) didn’t really have a strong faith, so what I ended up noticing was that he would become increasingly jealous of family members and friends who had children.”

Then in October in 2017, out of the blue, Williams’ husband announced to her that he was having a baby with another woman, and that the child would be born the following March.

“My heart just dropped. I thought he was lying initially, but then he proceeded to tell me that this was something he had planned. This was not a mistake. He had approached her with this plan to have a baby, according to him, and she had agreed to it because for her own reasons she was desperate to have a child as well.” – Dr. Natasha Williams

Williams sat in shock as her husband went on to inform her that he had no intentions of leaving the marriage. He loved her dearly and his expectation of her was to help him raise the child he was expecting with the other woman.

“My whole world just absolutely fell apart, and I just could not believe that this person that I had known for almost 20 years would be so selfish and self-centered,” she said.

After giving it some thought, Williams decided to try to work things out with her husband because he seemed willing to do whatever it took to make the marriage work. Also, as a Christian woman, Williams felt compelled to explore every avenue to repair her marriage before considering divorce.

But when she found photos on his phone of him being affectionate with the other woman months later on Christmas Eve, Williams knew she had to leave the marriage.

“Christmas Eve is my birthday. He had taken me out for dinner and then said he had to go to work. But instead, he had gone to her house,” Williams said.

“That was the lightbulb for me – that this man is not only lying to me, he deliberately does not have my best interest at heart. And all he’s doing is trying to create this web of lies to satisfy his own needs. My needs are not being met here at all, so it’s time for me to go.” – Dr. Natasha Williams

Due to a planned event involving the couple’s friends, Williams chose not to disclose her plan to leave her husband. So, the two remained in the same home but did not speak for a week. But as soon as the event was over, Williams said her piece.

“I took one look at him and I said, ‘How dare you try to tell me how to live my life. You’re not God. You’re trying to dictate to me what’s best for me. And this is absolutely not it. So, I am leaving.’ In one week, I packed my stuff and I moved to my father’s place. And that’s when I started rebuilding.” – Dr. Natasha Williams

Williams never looked back and only contacted her husband to discuss legal matters related to their separation and subsequent divorce.

It was an extremely difficult time for Williams, but she found the strength to push through the pain and took the necessary steps to become the best version of herself. Since then, her private practice has grown astronomically.

She wanted to help others who felt stuck get to the other side of their own pain through a masterclass she created called “Reclaiming your Superwoman: How to find your voice after divorce”.

“It’s not just about finding your voice after divorce, it’s about finding your voice period,” Williams said. “This program is a 4-week online masterclass and can be taken by anyone around the world.”

Participants went through a series of modules during the weekly sessions and received a workbook for their individual work between sessions. They also had access to a private Facebook group where group members could support one another.

“This is an introductory course where we will touch on some key concepts on how you can identify yourself as a divine being and walk into your truth. Because when we don’t identify as a child of God who is worthy of all that God has created for us, we end up living a life of mediocrity. I am using the tools I already knew as a psychologist, but now with my personal experience I can say, ‘This is what psychology says, this is what our faith says, and this is what my personal experience has also taught me. I will teach you.” – Dr Natasha Williams

“You have to trust God in the midst of turmoil.” – Dr. Natasha Williams