Her life had been characterized by heart-rending loss and deep pain that drove her to a mental breakdown.
After losing her father in 1996, Samkelisiwe Moyo’s mother moved her and her two siblings to Harare, Zimbabwe. This went against the wishes of her father’s relatives and led to the family being treated as outcasts.
“My mother had to hustle to both clothe and feed us,” Samkelisiwe told The Weight She Carries. “Attending school was difficult for me because my father’s relatives did not want to help with getting my birth certificate (which is necessary for writing exams). But by the grace of God, l managed to complete grade seven.”
Unfortunately, her mother fell ill in 1999 and sadly passed away. Their maternal grandmother took them in only to pass away that same year. Even more tragically, an uncle who took them in after the passing of their grandmother also passed away.
“After my uncle passed away, everyone said we were cursed due to the fact that everyone who took us in died. Life became so difficult that l do not want to even remember what we went through at that time,” she said. “I had to do all sorts of work from selling in the market to digging in people’s gardens just to put food on the table for both my sister and brother at twelve years old.”
A glimmer of hope came in 2000 when their grandmother’s sister travelled from the United Kingdom and arranged for Samkelisiwe’s brother to travel back with her.
“I was very happy for him,” she said.
In 2003, she met the man who would become her husband, who she eloped with at age of 16. She became pregnant and gave birth to a baby who she lost.
“I was devastated but quickly comforted myself by saying God had done His will,” she said.
Soon after this loss, she became pregnant again but unfortunately, also lost this baby.
In 2007, Samkelisiwe became pregnant and her sister got married during that time.
“I was ecstatic because finally our lives were looking up despite the horrific events of the past,” she said.
Just as she thought everything was moving well, tragedy struck once more. She lost her baby girl.
“The third loss drove me to a mental breakdown. I would cry each time l met baby girls. High stress levels caused me to menstruate for three months straight. I tried as much as l could to stay away from home because her face haunted me. My marriage suffered. My husband tried to have kids elsewhere all the while blaming me for our losses.” – Samkelisiwe Moyo
Desperation drove her to get pregnant a total of four times only to lose all four of them – all with traumatic effects on her physical and emotional being.
“In all this, l went to different spiritualists and doctors seeking for help to no avail. I remember a particular time when l had to drink a concoction of raw egg, juice and soda every morning for three months, only to lose the pregnancy,” she said.
After years of trying and losing her babies, she finally gave birth to a baby that lived.
Fast forward to today, she is now a mother of two boys and is still married to her husband.
“When Jesus says yes, no one can say no,” she says. “I encourage other women out there to never lose hope. No matter how heart-wrenching the situation may be, let God rule in your life and do not put your faith in a mortal man.”
Samkelisiwe has managed to find peace after such a tumultuous journey. At 31, she is currently studying for a diploma in Integrated Telecommunications Engineering with a leading telecommunications company and is very optimistic about what the future has in store for her.
