My love story is interesting. My husband was a moderator in a certain Facebook group called Single and Saved. I had been in that group for one year and had never noticed him, neither had he, until September 2018. I was going through a very difficult season, betrayal from friends and trying to heal both emotionally and physically.
A mutual friend talked to him about me and asked him to talk to me. He wrote a message on Messenger saying that he wanted me to know I was on God’s mind and that He cares. He also asked me to talk to him whenever I needed someone to talk to. I didn’t reply.
A week later, I was contemplating suicide. But before I did it, I felt a need to talk to someone. I remembered him and wrote to him. I told him I was about to commit suicide. He kept me awake the whole night through phone calls and chats and by morning, he had managed to change my mind about suicide.
Our relationship was purely friendship. He became my best friend and most of our time was spent on calls and chats. Since he lived far away from me, we also visited each other occasionally. For the very first time, I experienced how it felt to have a best friend. We talked about everything under the sun. Each time he spotted a nice girl, he would tell me about it and each time a guy hit on me, I would tell him about it.
We had conversations about God and spirituality. I’m a very deep person and petty conversations put me off. It was easy connecting with him since he is also deep and his way of understanding things is different.
I had stopped praying for a husband and all I really wanted at this point was healing, but His ways are not our ways. I’m the first person God spoke to about marriage and I kept saying I was not ready. At the same time, God had started me on a journey of forgiveness and each time I forgave and embraced love, the more He spoke to me about Him.
I was so afraid to love again considering what I had been through in my past. I was also afraid of losing him as a friend since I thought once we got married, that would happen. I was wrong about that.
One day as we were having a conversation, he started talking about marriage. I knew God had already spoken to him about it and now most of our conversations were centred around this, though we still kept it at friendship level.
On Oct. 15, 2019, he finally asked me to be his woman and also proposed. I said yes and that’s how our relationship status changed😄.
The first thing I had prayed for in a husband was a man who worshipped and loved God deeply and this man is sold out for God. I had also prayed for a man who would see beyond my story. The truth is, my husband knows some things about me that no one else does.
At first, I was so afraid of opening up. But as the Holy spirit led, I shared everything with him and he has walked with me through those difficult moments. God used him to heal some very deep scars I carried through his encouragement and prayer for and with me.
At times, I would wake up healed; other times, I would wake up with all my wounds bleeding. At times, I would push him away and go quiet on him, but he always reached out and pulled me from any engulfing emotion. He is very patient and consistent. Also, he let me be me. With him, I don’t pretend to be someone else and that’s one thing that drew me to him.
We didn’t date for long simply because we knew we wanted this and we were ready. Also, God had confirmed this so many times. We started planning our wedding and settled on a civil wedding. Two months after our engagement, we went to the registrar of marriages and were given Feb. 12 as our wedding date. We planned for a small event whereby we would just go to the registrar of marriages and then have a simple lunch with our immediate families, but God had other plans.
One week before our wedding, I had gone for an overnight prayer. As my pastor prayed concerning my marriage, I had a vision of me having a big wedding, but I just brushed it off. Two days later, a friend of mine saw a post on her friend’s account asking if anyone knew of a bride who was having a February wedding so she could gift her with a gown. My friend mentioned me and my story.
The friend said when she read my story, she couldn’t sleep the whole night and so she called on all event organizers on her page and they organized a beautiful event for me. I knew nothing about it. As they took us to the venue after coming from the registrar and being pronounced husband and wife, it felt like I was attending my own wedding. Everything was beautiful and well done. It was so overwhelming to see people I hardly knew going out of their way for me.
I am a believer that marriage works if we involve God in it. We cannot do it through our own wisdom, so we have surrendered everything to Him to lead us. We are also very intentional with each other. Each morning, we lay hands or just hold hands and speak to God about each other as we also pray about other things.
My husband is still my best friend and I discuss everything with him. As a single mum, I was so afraid of introducing a man to my children. But oh, you should see the relationship he has with them, especially the teenagers. At times, I feel they are closer to him than me and I thank God for that.
To all single mothers: one man may have cheated on you, abused you or done other bad things to you, but that does not mean all men are bad. God is still in the business of moulding great men. Give yourself a chance to heal and love again. Ask God for what you want and don’t compromise. He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we can think of.
Celine Njoki has survived severe physical, sexual and emotional abuse at the hands of several people throughout her life. She was abused by family and “friends”, and gang rapped 3 times, with the most recent attack occurring in April 2018. If you haven’t read her riveting story, you can find it here.