Evict her from your head space, she’s no friend of yours. What good has she ever done you? All she does is magnify what you don’t have and take for granted what you do. She shifts your focus from yourself onto others and never appreciates your accomplishments, your intelligence, your beauty, your strength.
Don’t get her mixed up with Pure Ambition and a desire to be better, to do better. The difference is that one makes you want to get one up on your sister, while the other makes you want to do better than you did yesterday. “You versus You” is where you want your competitive spirit to rest. Not “You versus Her”. Never that.
So let me tell you how the Green Eyed Monster is working against you.
The thing is, when you go up against another on issues that have nothing to do with her, you’re automatically on an uneven playing field. She doesn’t have the same unique combination of experiences that you have, that make you who you are. And you don’t have hers. You don’t have the exact same likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses.
For this reason alone, you’re going to start either ahead of her or behind. What’s the point? It was never fair to begin with. How about a situation where you know your “opponent” inside and out? Not just her strengths and weaknesses, but deeper than that. You know her thoughts, her fears; you know how her mind works. You know what motivates her. You know this because she is you.
When you go up against yesterday’s version of you, you know exactly how far and how hard you need to push in order to improve on that. You don’t have to guess and unnecessarily overexert yourself. You don’t have to keep looking over your shoulder to see how close your opponent is. You can just BE!
Can I suggest something else? Jealousy is often not really about what it looks like it’s about. It’s often not someone’s high powered job you want, but rather the feeling of being respected and admired. It’s not necessarily the big salary that you envy, but the idea of being financially secure. It’s not someone else’s elegant wardrobe or stunning good looks that got your attention. It’s more about the confidence with which she seems to carry herself.
But, my beautiful friend, don’t you realize you could have all these things right where you are?
There are many people in expensive suits and fancy office buildings who don’t get the respect and admiration you imagine they do; people with huge salaries and even greater debt; gorgeous women who are so broken inside that they don’t even recognize their outer beauty, or so focused on the outward appearance that they don’t fix what’s crumbling inside.
All that glitters is not gold, my love. Focus on the treasure within you. Stay in your own lane and you won’t have to look over your shoulder. Your only competition is yourself. She may be a tough one, but you know her well enough to know how to be better than she was yesterday!