To a Sister Finding it Hard to Forgive…

“…forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us…”

“To err is human, but to forgive is divine.”

Dear Sis,

I know it’s hard to forgive. I know it’s even harder to forget. It’s easier to hold on to grudges. It’s easier to stand in self-righteousness and count all the wrongs done unto us. But is that what you want for your life?

…Those things they said about you were mean and unfair. I know how hard it was to see the people you trusted backstab you. I can only imagine the pain you must have gone through as you watched them rip apart the outstanding reputation you so painstakingly built.

…The horror it must have been to watch as they trampled on your feelings. The shock at discovering that they didn’t even hesitate to do that to you. The disbelief that once again you have been taken for granted.

…I can imagine how helpless and hopeless you must have felt that day. He easily overpowered you.  You never stood a chance against him. He had more strength, more money, more connections…what could you have done?

…Once again it was a lie. Just when you believed in him, he cheated. Of course, you expected him to but with your friend? Your sister? That was just too much to bear.

I know it hurts. The pain runs so deep. I imagine you spend days on end plotting your revenge. Or perhaps the pain is too much you can only feel an emotional numbness.  The thought of it makes you panic and rage like a bull.

I am pretty sure that forgiveness is the last thing on your mind right know.  In your anger and bitterness you cannot begin to comprehend how you could possibly forgive THAT!

I imagine the last thing you want to do is forgive them. After what they did to you they do not deserve your forgiveness. It’s OK to feel the way you do. No one deserves to go through that!!!

BUT, you should forgive anyway…

You see, sister, forgiveness is a gift. Extend it to yourself. It allows you to let go of bitter toxic feelings and embrace something better – HEALING. You deserve to get better.

It is my hope that you can allow the emotional and physical wounds inflicted on you to heal. When you refuse to forgive, dear sister, you give too much power to those who hurt you to continue hurting you over and over again. If not for any other reason, forgive others because God has forgiven you.

The Lord’s Prayer I quoted above says, “…forgive us our sins as we forgive those who wrong against us…” Perhaps, sister, this means we can only be forgiven by the measure with which we forgive others despite how deeply they have hurt us. For after all, to err is human, but to forgive is divine.

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