To a Sister Struggling With Identity…

I know you struggle with your identity. You are trying to know and understand yourself. To strip out the layers which have protected you over the years. For how can you know yourself if you have not stared at your emotional nakedness or your mental vulnerability?

Any journey to self-awareness inevitably begins at the same place with the same question, “Who am I?” It all starts with this loaded three-word question.

This question is not easy to answer for it questions values, beliefs the very core of what makes a person who they are. How do you begin to answer, for to answer is to define yourself?  To answer is to acknowledge the culmination of the choices, great and small, made throughout the journey of life.

But you may ask: How do I begin to define myself?

You are not alone. The question of identity has dogged the human race since the beginning of time. Is it the net value of your experiences and associations? Do you define yourself in relation to the roles you have taken on?

Questions. Questions. Questions…

I have realized that defining self requires a certain degree of detachment – looking at yourself as if you are examining another. It is also a subjective exercise, for only you can fully understand the emotions, hopes, struggles and aspirations that make you who you are.

I understand the need to identify a self you can live with, one you can take responsibility for. Not the self as defined by your ancestry and your heritage, but a personal identity in a world which screams for uniformity.

I believe that you are like many other women stuck somewhere in the middle between who you were and who you could be.

Women who struggle to know who they are at the present moment. The continuous evolving of roles and circumstances leaves many of us with questions of who we are. And it’s okay, really. You are a work in progress. You are evolving, becoming and transitioning. You were who you were and it’s time to love who you are becoming.


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