TWSC Series: Learning to Stand Tall – Meet JournHE to the AltHER Participant Serena Miller

“God makes all things beautiful in His time. Our timing is not God’s timing, but God’s timing is never late.” – Serena Miller

Serena Miller entered the JournHE to the AltHER program with a desire to understand relationships more deeply and prepare for marriage. What she found was an opportunity to examine not only what she wanted in a future husband, but also how she saw herself.

“I’m not perfect, but I was made in the image of God, and God is still working with me,” Serena told The Weight She Carries. “I don’t have to be ashamed of my body. It was a gift from God.”

A Childhood Rooted in Faith and Family

Serena described her upbringing as Christian and “somewhat sheltered,” but looks back on it with appreciation.

She was the second oldest of four children, with siblings who were all close in age. Her parents raised them to know God, and much of her childhood was spent together as a family.

As one of the middle children, Serena was more of the peacemaker.

Learning Not to Settle

As Serena entered adulthood, her understanding of herself and relationships became more complicated.

“I was still believing that God was going to send me the right future husband,” she said. “But then I would rationalize and say, ‘God hasn’t sent the person yet, so I know this person is not the person that God sent for me to marry because there are all sorts of red flags. But…’ I think at that time I was willing to settle.”

“I was willing to entertain certain relationships that were not of God and not what God sent me for that time just because it was good; it felt good to me at the time.”

The deeper issue, she later came to realize, was her understanding of her own worth.

“I thought I valued myself, but I didn’t value myself as God would have me value myself,” she said.

Learning to Stand Tall

One of the most powerful lessons in Serena’s journey has come through embracing her height. At approximately six feet tall, she has experienced moments when other people’s insecurities were projected onto her.

An incident from years ago when she was attending a retreat. Dressed for Sabbath and wearing heels, she says another young person became intimidated by her height and loudly called attention to the fact that she was wearing heels.

At the time, the experience made Serena want to shrink herself. But now she sees it differently.

“God made me a tall person,” she said. “He doesn’t want me to just hunch my back and scrunch down and not wear heels.”

She wishes she could go back and respond differently.

“I would have told that person, ‘Yes. God made you short, and He made me tall. I’m thankful for my height. Don’t think that you need to cut people down because of the way God made you. You need to appreciate what you are and thank God for how you are.”

Allowing herself to stand tall became symbolic of something much bigger.

“Not everyone’s gonna like you. That is just part of life. But that doesn’t mean that when someone says something to you, and it’s disrespectful, you have to cower and go hide in a corner.”

“I can stand up, and I can stand tall because I know my worth in Christ Jesus.”

Beyond the Checklist

Serena’s understanding of relationships has also changed. She once had a fairly detailed checklist of what she wanted in a future husband. But through JournHE to the AltHER, she began to recognize that some of the things she had considered essential didn’t actually matter much.

“I used to say, ‘Lord, please send me someone taller than me,’” she said. “Now I see things differently. If He sends someone shorter than me, that’s fine. I want someone who’s obeying God and in a saving relationship with Him.”

Finding JournHE to the AltHER

Serena learned about JournHE to the AltHER through her sister, who had approached Cindel about creating something for young women. When Serena was invited to participate, she was immediately interested.

One of the most significant things she learned was that marriage isn’t simply about finding someone who meets your needs. It requires selflessness, communication, and a willingness to grow together – something she learned during a conversation with married couples during the program.

“You’re not just getting married to say, ‘Oh, I’m getting married, and my husband’s going to do all these wonderful things,’” she said. “It’s an act of selflessness as well.”

Love Without Keeping Score

Learning about marriage has also meant learning about the nature of love itself.

“When you love someone, you have to remember that love is patient, love is kind, love doesn’t keep score,” she said.

That doesn’t mean ignoring problems. It means being willing to address them.

She now sees marriage as a relationship where two people have to be willing to work together rather than simply expecting the other person to make life easier.

When the Waiting Gets Hard

Perhaps one of Serena’s most important messages is for women who have grown tired of waiting for marriage. Her advice is not to abandon the desire, but to shift the focus.

“Don’t give up,” she said. “Keep trusting in God. Continue to build your relationship with God. He makes all things beautiful in His time. Our timing is not God’s timing, but God’s timing is never late.”

Her encouragement is deeply rooted in her understanding of identity.

“God still loves you. You’re bought with a price. You’re precious. You’re priceless because the God of the universe, Jesus Christ, came down and died for you. God hasn’t forgotten you.”

The woman who once considered settling is learning to wait without compromising her values.

The woman who once worried about how others perceived her is learning to stand tall.

The woman who once struggled with her body is learning to see it as a gift.

And the woman who once relied on a checklist is learning that the most important qualities are not measured by appearance.

And today, Serena carries a clearer understanding of who she is and whose she is.