My heart was struggling to beat. All along I had concentrated on exercising my body, not realizing that my heart was in dire need of a rigorous exercise regimen as well.
The Tipping Point
Life had ripped open my chest and callouses of anger, pain and resentment had formed over my heart; callouses that tried to suffocate all love from my beating heart, the genesis of heart disease. I couldn’t let that happen. After wasting away in a sedentary, semi-comatose bed of emotional numbness, I needed a regimen that would nurse my heart back to health.
Despite my pain, I began to exercise love towards others, and especially to myself. It was tough, and on most days, I didn’t feel like it. After months of pain, my heart was badly out of shape. The friction between love and anger caused delayed onset heart soreness, but I kept fighting through the pain and praying for strength, just enough for the day.
I adopted a diet of spiritually-nourishing food and reduced the amount of junk I consumed. My spiritual food had to be fresh each day. As I discovered, yesterday’s food only took care of yesterday’s pain
Many times I had to detox with tears – quite regularly, actually. Some said it wasn’t healthy to detox that often, but there were a lot of toxins I needed to rid my body of. Each tear drop relieved me of an ounce of weight that would have threatened to overpower my heart and cause cardiac arrest. So I did it more often than recommended as I held on to the promise that, “[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”
(1 Corinthians 13:7
). Over time, smiling became easier, my heart strengthened, and I realized that love is life.
Soon the weight of pain, guilt and shame began to melt off. And in their stead was a healthy heart overflowing with forgiveness and love. Now I have beauty for ashes
. It was hard work but it paid off. My heart is beating vibrantly again and doing what it was created to do – overflow with love
. And I have to say, I love the way my new heart looks on me.
Vimbai E. is a writer, journalist, ghostwriter and the founder of The Weight She Carries. With hundreds of articles publishing online, in print and for broadcast, her love of language and storytelling shines through every piece of writing that bears her name.