Jessie’s journey is one of compounded strength. She recently shared with The Weight She Carries how she has survived clinical depression, an anxiety disorder and chronic stress.
About me
My name is Jessie Mhaka from Mberengwa, Zimbabwe. I was born into a family of nine with a strong Christian background. I studied sociology at the University of Zimbabwe and acquired a Master of Business Administration degree from the National University of Science and Technology. I have worked in the corporate, NGO and financial sectors, which I exited at the end of 2019 to pursue my personal interests.
I am now a personal development coach focusing on mental health and mind fitness. My job is to help people think better, feel better, act better and live better through harnessing the power of their minds.
An internal war
Personally, I lived with clinical depression, an anxiety disorder and chronic stress at different points in my life. Symptoms began to surface in the early 1990s when l was in university, and l cannot pinpoint the exact cause of it. It was an internal war that l went through alone. No one noticed that something was wrong with me. In 2020, I embarked on a quest for answers regarding my experiences and the information I came across blew my mind off. I found out that the information was so liberating and just had to be shared with the world. That’s how Mind Fitness coaching was birthed.
During my battle days, I was able to tell using my body’s responses whether it was depression, stress or anxiety. Symptoms differ from person to person and some symptoms may be similar to other medical conditions, so it is always important to get correct diagnosis from your medical practitioners.
Dealing with depression
Depression has many symptoms which manifest differently in different people. These include intense feelings of sadness, tearfulness or hopelessness, and this was a major symptom for me. I felt sad all the time, and no matter how good something was that would happen, my joy would last for a few minutes or hours at most. I cried a lot whenever I felt overwhelmed. I did have constant thoughts of death, not in a suicidal way, but I would at times wonder whether life was worth living if it was this painful nonstop.
I visited my doctor frequently complaining of the same symptoms all the time. Having found nothing wrong with me physically after running a series of tests, he ended up referring me to a psychiatrist for screening and further examination. That’s when I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and I was immediately put on antidepressants.
Other symptoms include anger outbursts, irritability or frustration over small matters. There is also loss of interest or pleasure in almost all activities such as sex, sports or anything one used to love doing. As for me, my favourite pastime was watching TV soaps and dramas, but at some point, I lost interest in watching TV and spent most of the time just lying on my bed not wanting to do anything.
Lack of sleep or too much sleep is another depression symptom. For me, falling asleep was not a problem; it is the quality of sleep that was a problem. I would sleep for eight hours but still feel unrested in the morning. The other common symptom for depression is tiredness and lack of energy. Small tasks can be so daunting and difficult to complete.
Battling Anxiety
When I experienced anxiety, I was always nervous and restless, always feeling like something bad was about to happen. It took me longer to process work things. My mind was just tired all the time.
I was on medication for a long time. I prayed, went for therapy, took some online counselling. It was a multifaceted battle. I went through the hands of three different psychiatrists, three psychologists, attended a 10-week course at a Christian counselling centre and have had several ministers pray with me.
I still do feel depressed, anxious and stressed like anybody else, but I do not live with the conditions anymore because I now know how to handle any triggers.
Pain to purpose
The most rewarding part of my job is the feedback and testimonials I get after sharing my life on various platforms. Just sharing my lived experiences and seeing the impact it has affirms that it is truly what I was called to do.
My work includes training, coaching, presentations and speeches. I have been invited to speak at various platforms on mental health, including churches, schools, business platforms and corporate organisations.
My highlights include being invited as guest of honour at Monte Casino Girls High and as a motivational speaker at the National Association of Primary Schools annual conference, just to mention a few. I have received awards from the Institute of Coaching and Mentoring in November 2022 as first runner-up Emotional Intelligence Coach of the Year and first runner-up Wellness Coach of the Year.
In parting, I would like to tell someone out there that 2023 is just a mere calendar year, and it is not going to change anything until you change. This change takes place in the mind first before it can manifest in the physical. Your success is dependent on the quality of your thoughts, which trigger your emotions, which then drive your actions and which will lead you to either your success or your failure.
The political and economic environment does not determine the outcome of your life, but your thoughts do.
You may not have control over external circumstances, but by controlling how you react to circumstances, you can soar to greater heights.
