FGM Survivor and Founder of Murua Girls Shares How She Found the Courage to Tell Her Story and Help Others

Three years ago, Seleyian Agnes decided she could no longer be silent while girls as young as 8 were being mutilated in the Masai community she grew up in rural Kenya. It was time to share her story of surviving of female genital mutilation (FGM) and educate her community.

“Before that I wasn’t really advocating against FGM because I didn’t see anything wrong with it,” Agnes told The Weight She Carries. “I am a survivor and I had quite a normal life, but I realize that not every girl is as fortunate as I was.”

At the time, there wasn’t much information on the effects of FGM. People weren’t as vocal as they are now, and there were no laws prohibiting FGM like there are now.

Agnes underwent FGM when she was 16 years old and considered herself privileged at the time because she was given a choice in the matter.

“I grew up in a normal family with educated parents. I remember telling my mother that I did not want my FGM procedure performed by a traditional woman,” she said. “I wanted a medical practitioner.”

Agnes was also able to choose the type of FGM procedure she wanted performed on her.

Type 1 is the partial removal of the clitoris, Agnes explained. Type 2 is the total removal of the clitoris and some of the surrounding tissue (labia minora). And Type 3 is the total removal of the entire external genitalia.

“Different communities do different types of FGM and for different reasons,” Agnes explained. “Communities that do the Type 3 FGM also stitch the genitalia and close it up so a girl can remain a virgin until she marries.”

Leading up to the procedure, Agnes was excited because it was a rite of passage which meant she was leaving childhood behind and entering adulthood. According to her, it was a good thing.

The procedure was done just outside her bedroom window. It was 5:30 in the morning and still dark outside, but a flashlight provided some light.

“The funny thing is that I am a mother of one, but I don’t actually remember feeling labor pains as much as I do the pain of my FGM experience. I remember everything from the clothes I was wearing to the area on the ground I sat on. It’s very vivid. It was a very sharp pain. She used a sharp razor.” – Seleyian Agnes

“My mom was not with me when the procedure was done, she was hiding in her room,” Agnes said. “She was very nervous, more nervous than my sister and I. My sister was also mutilated. She was 14 at the time.”

Agnes had specified that she only wanted to be cut once, not twice or thrice as is often FGM protocol.

“I remember my aunties complaining that the procedure had not been done well because she only cut me once. They wanted her to cut twice or thrice,” Agnes said. “But I had an agreement with the medical practitioner and I told her exactly how I wanted it to be done. I told her I wanted Type 1 where you cut off the tip of the clitoris.”

It took about two weeks for Agnes to recover.

“I was in bed for two weeks and then back in school about a month later. The night before the procedure and immediately after it was done, people were coming into the house to congratulate my mother. This was because my sister and I were her last two kids. So it meant that she now had grown children. And I remember receiving a lot of gifts.” – Seleyian Agnes

Soon after she healed, Agnes began to regret her decision after a woman came to her school and spoke out against FGM. Agnes wished she had come a year earlier.

When time came to head off to college, Agnes left for Nairobi and felt impressed to study community development. Since FGM is typically frowned upon in urban communities in Kenya, she didn’t openly discuss her experience.

One of the courses was cultural practices, and the instructor asked Agnes to share her experience with FGM. Feeling ashamed, she denied undergoing the procedure. But over time, she realized that being silent was no longer an option.

“I went back home to visit my relatives and learned that one of my younger cousins had undergone FGM. There was already so much activism going on. I asked my aunt why she had her undergo FGM knowing that there’s all this education against it,” Agnes said. “That’s when I realized that I was choosing to be (complacent) – just hiding in the city knowing that all of this was going on and hoping things were going to be okay. I realized that I could actually use my experience to change someone else’s life.”

“I started to see it as a violation of children’s rights, specifically girls. I also realized that depending on the type of FGM performed, there are some girls who succumb to the injuries caused by FGM, and some live with lifelong health challenges. That’s what motivated me to go back to my community and make a difference.” – Seleyian Agnes

Agnes started going to schools in the community and talking to girls about menstrual hygiene and informing them about pregnancy and reproductive health. It was a way to earn trust from the community.

“FGM was still a taboo topic and I was still scared to bring up the topic, fearing backlash from my community,” she said. “My father passed away in 2014 and that was the only time that I could begin speaking out against FGM. I couldn’t do it while he was still living, I was scared of him.”

Agnes’ mother did not realize her daughter was speaking out against FGM until the community began to praise her efforts.

In November 2013, Agnes founded the Murua Girl Child Education Program which focuses on educating the girl child on menstrual hygiene and reproductive health, access to education and protection from harmful cultural practices. The organization became registered as a legal entity in 2015.

Due to her efforts, Agnes was appointed as a Youth End FGM Ambassador from August 2016 to September 2018 by the Kenyan End FGM Movement led by The Girl Generation, a platform she used to bring in more youthful voices in the end FGM movement.

“We have seen a lot of change in the communities we have worked with directly,” Agnes said. “There are more girls not being cut, and we actually had a community come to us and say it would like us to facilitate an alternative rite of passage.”

While there is increased awareness of the dangers of FGM, Agnes said there is still much to be done.

One of the challenges of FGM, she said, is that the link to mental health is not emphasized enough.

“The fact is that (society) almost ignores the effects of FGM on mental health. It just centers on the medical and physical side, but no one links it to how it affects a woman’s mental health,” she said.

One of the other challenges with FGM now is that although there are laws against it, people are finding ways to still practice it and the procedure is being done in secrecy.

“It was performed on me when I was 16, but now girls as young as 8 and 9 are being cut because it is unlikely that they will run away,” Agnes said.

Society tends to focus on women who have undergone FGM, but according to Agnes, women who have not been cut are also stigmatized because they are going against the norm.

“Whether you are a survivor or not, there is a lot of stigma that comes along with FGM. Those who have been cut live in fear that they will have medical issues and possibly die during childbirth. It is also believed that women who have undergone FGM are not sexually responsive. This brings low self-esteem and women feel bad about their bodies. You begin to question your abilities because you feel you cannot perform sexually.” – Seleyian Agnes

Agnes has made herself available to girls in need of rescuing from their home. She gives out her personal number to girls who are at risk. When they call, she begins to work with local authorities to arrange a rescue.

She hopes her story will help inspire the youth to take a stand to end FGM in their generation.