Depression, anxiety, misery, hate, jealousy are common feelings amongst us as women. Despite the stresses of this world bringing about these feelings, society has contributed to a lot of us feeling this way as we spend a lot of time trying to live up to societal expectations, and neglecting ourselves which has led to us presenting a woman with a tough exterior but a depressed spirit inside. You don’t have to die inside. Sometimes, you have to be a little bit selfish for a healthy you. In this article, I will demystify a few myths that have had people struggling.
A STRONG WOMAN DOESN’T CRY
Many times we feel hurt, but we’ve been told not to cry…it’s a sign of weakness. My sister, crying is never a sign of weakness, it’s a way of expressing yourself. Don’t let your tears bring you down, instead, they should make you stronger. Learn your lesson and move on. When you feel like crying and don’t, you build up hurt in your heart and it will only kill you inside. Feel like crying? Cry as much as you need to, wipe your tears and move on with your life.
A STRONG WOMAN SOLDIERS ON IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE
I have seen women distraught in abusive marriages. In the worst cases, they die. When they try to reach out, they are told that’s what marriage is like. Soldier on, things will get better. I am no advocate of divorce, but I never want to see someone endure abuse. Real love is not painful and no man who loves you will ever raise his hand to you. Let’s be weary of the advice we get. No marriage is perfect. You shouldn’t run at every argument, but if there’s violence, there’s no reason to stay. No one deserves to stay in pain.
A STRONG WOMAN DOES NOT SEEK COUNSELLING
In the society I come from, it’s inappropriate to tell everyone when we have our problems. You keep your problems to yourself and try to solve them on your own. Yes, not everyone has to know what you are going through…some people rejoice when you’re in pain but seek counsel when you are going through anything challenging in life. A problem shared is a problem half solved. Pour out your heart to God, read your bible, you will find solace.
A STRONG WOMAN DOES NOT SEEK HELP, SHE DOES IT ALL
Society has defined certain roles for the woman. When we get married, we are told, ‘You have to cook, clean and wash clothes for your husband. Your husband shouldn’t be seen doing the dishes or helping you with cooking.’ Having maids do the work is seen as a sign of weakness or worse still, laziness. A woman is expected to be a super woman who doesn’t tire despite working outside the home. She has to come and do the chores at the end of the day.
Inasmuch as a woman should take care of her man, you should set aside time to rest and relax so you can be a better mother and wife. If you can do the chores, go ahead and do them but when you feel you need help, don’t hesitate to find help. It’s not a sign of laziness.
Do not let society define you, define your own life. Be a strong woman who knows what to accept and what to reject. Seek counsel, cry when there’s need, upgrade yourself to be a better woman but never be a woman who lives her life according to societal expectations. Be yourself, the world will adjust.
