Princess Noma Siziba is a notable woman of resilience who has risen from the rubble to the eminence of being an author, speaker and entrepreneur. Once broken and an outcast, she uses wisdom amassed from her experiences to help change lives with the understanding that her purpose is to serve others. She has a beautiful daughter and her heart’s desire is to see as many people as she can possibly become whole.
How did you end up becoming a young mother? Did you get any support?
My life has not been without distractions and detours. There was a time my image was far from the woman l am today, and it all began with getting pregnant soon after high school. I was barely a woman at the time and still counting the teens in my years, and in the kind of society l grew up in, l had stripped myself of every opportunity of making it in life.
l soaked in the moments of motherhood with the divided support of my family but nothing could have prepared me for the years of dysfunction l would live through as l sought to find myself and get onto the path any parent would desire for their child. For years l struggled; whilst everyone else was going off to university, yet l was raising a baby. I was that girl constantly in the shadows, the one you write off, the least likely to succeed, the one who watched others graduate and get married.
I was the girl in the background cheering others on, yet having no understanding as to what direction my life was taking. l felt invisible, as if the world couldn’t see who l truly was and what l had to offer. I too wanted to say, “Mama, l made it,” but life seemed to be for everybody else but me. Going with the flow soon became what l conformed to but that wasn’t the dream.
How long did it take for you to rise above your obstacles? How did you do that?
It was not until l experienced the worst heartbreak of my entire life that my heart became the ultimate sacrifice and, in the process, brought forth a whole new woman. When l wholeheartedly submitted to God, He began to show me who l was and the hidden abilities l carried. The things that broke me brought me to a place of total surrender to Him. Often those experiences that agonize us teach us obedience.
They bring us to our knees such that our posture becomes that of submission to God. As l matured, especially in my relationship with God, the eyes of my understanding began to open. It is in my brokenness that l discovered purpose in the midst of what seemed to be the end of me. Who would have ever imagined that this girl who was a teen mum and missed out on an opportunity to go to university could write a book? For me to get ahead was something unthinkable. l was that girl you overlook but when l aligned with purpose, everything else began to fall into place.
Time is part of the winning progression and people evolve over years. I did not discover my purpose till l was 31 and l also began to realize abilities l never even knew l carried. I adopted a habit of journaling every day and as l started to share those pieces with the world on social media, so many people began to point out how it was helping them and giving them hope. It also came with the persuasion that l should write a book but nobody knew that in my secret place God had already placed a book in my heart. My first book Why l Never Gave Up was then published in 2018.
You mentioned in one of your posts that you were in relationships where you were verbally and emotionally abused. Can you tell us more about it?
I am certainly no expert, but the downfall of many has been relationships. The struggle to get it right in love has left scores with deep wounds and scars. Before l was the woman l am today, l got into a relationship with the wrong man and it forever changed me. I could sense he wasn’t right for me from his speech and demeanor. He was the kind that argued and questioned if the Bible was real because it was written by men and downright refused to go to church because in his words “he wasn’t going to sit and listen to somebody telling him what to do.” He always said he would live his life the best way he sees it. This is not even the saddest part. The most devastating is l still went on to date him even after having gotten a glimpse of that side of him. I knew better, but at the time l did not love myself enough or have the self-esteem to shut off such inexcusable things. I lost me so love could also be my name.
To love a broken man is demise. A man who was attracted to my light put it out. And when he had done so, he began to see darkness in me too. A man who began to view me as an object and proudly declared all he wanted was my body. I don’t know what was worse: him telling me that “at least he was being honest” or the fearlessness to actually say something as demeaning as that to me. He would laugh in my face and say l must be living under a rock for thinking people can’t have fun with their bodies and that it was normal and l should live a little. He would cuss, ridicule me and stripped me of the little dignity l thought l had left at the time. His smoking, drunkenness and infidelity also played a major role in all the dysfunction because there was no reasoning with him. When somebody can look you in the eye and tell you to stop moping around because everybody gets hurt, they have lost their human integrity.
Those are the kind of words l had to put up with in that dysfunctional relationship. As purpose would have it, God dragged me out of that relationship not kicking and screaming but wounded, broken and bitter desperately ready to be washed like water by His love. And that’s all that God did. He washed my wounds with his love.
How did you overcome?
Part of my journey to healing and overcoming began by acceptance of what had happened. l couldn’t change what was done but could face what lay ahead with an attitude that my life will get better. I spent time in the word of God, read books and listened to healing material. The only counsel l had was that of the Holy Spirit.
Worship also got me through that season. There is something about it that makes you hope again despite what may be happening around you. It gives you a sense of comfort that there’s a higher power ready to turn things around for you and uplifts your spirit. So each day l would lay before the Lord and weep. I told Him l wanted to use my pain for good and cried out for wisdom. It turned into something so personal for me, my heart posture became one of desiring to serve others for their good.
God heard my cry and began to show me how to get out of my adversity. He strengthened my heart and gave me assurance that this wasn’t the end. It’s in those moments that He spoke to me about who l am and the kind of future He desired for me. What was meant to destroy me, He would use for my greater good and that’s how the book Why l Never Gave Up was birthed. I made it not only for myself but for many others. Years from now, people will read my book and find one more reason to hold on.
Tell us more about your book. What drove you to write it?
Why l Never Gave Up is a book that is an echo of hope for many that whatever your story may be, you too can overcome. l did. In my book l share 32 reasons why l never gave up. I bare my scars to help somebody heal. I took my own tragedies and the things that broke me and use them as a means to help others. Something in me changed. It stopped being about me and became about us. Nobody was going to give up on my watch. No one was going to end their life if l could do something about it. So l wrote a book. l told my story to encourage somebody not to throw in the towel because l too went through the storm but made it out on the other side. In my book, I confer the things that strengthened me and proved helpful in my own journey.
All this began with changing the way l think and that soon created a wave effect of aligning with my purpose, developing courage, walking by faith and so many positives that led to where l am today. This book was written from a place of realizing that people are looking for answers. They are seeking that one or many other reasons to face another day. Many are in search of solutions that will not only speak to the depths of their being but will sustain them for a lifetime. It is my desire that if l share what motivated me to keep strong in my adversity, somebody will find a reason to hold on too.
Do you have any regrets? If so, what do you regret most?
I think it would be not knowing then what l know now. But l find comfort in [knowing] that with God, nothing is wasted. There is always a redemption plan for our regrets. My book and the way that I’ve evolved is God redeeming me from my past.
What have been your major accomplishments?
The birthing of my book because God gave me an ability that is unique so l can give hope to as many people as l can possibly reach. You must understand that because of the path my life took, l was always beneath consideration. If there a was a least likely to succeed award, it would have been given to me in my past. ln the toxic relationship l shared about, l was told l contribute nothing but today l stand feeding the minds of generations through my writing.
What advice would you give to young women on why they should never give up?
PURPOSE. Never give up because of PURPOSE.
Even after everything you may have experienced, the fact that you’re still here is God’s way of saying “LIVE! l see you’re wounded but live. l see you’re broken but live. l see what they did to you but live. I know you just lost everything but live. I saw the weighty mistake but live. I saw the way you were mishandled but live. I see the debt stacked against you, the struggles and turmoil but l want you to live because l am the way out of anything and everything.”
You may contact Princess on:
Facebook: Princess Noma Siziba