Cynthia Nyandoro Magwenjere is the eldest in a family of four girls. She was born and raised in Harare, Zimbabwe. When asked to describe herself she mentioned, “I love to love, I love God and I love His people.”
Cynthia studied psychology and HR at Monash in South Africa thinking it would land her in a profession that helped people with their emotional issues. That was what she really loved doing. Her parents advised her to do HR as a backup because they didn’t see a real earning future in psychology.
All went well in college till her last year when she got pregnant, unexpectedly and unplanned. She described this experience to The Weight She Carries.
How did you deal with the pressures of being pregnant and excelling in your studies? What challenges did you face?
Pregnancy in [my] final year was devastating but the one thing I remember my pastor at the time saying is , ‘God cannot save us from the natural consequences of our bad decisions. He can help us through them, but we have to go through them.’ It felt really bad hearing such a message, but I needed to.
So being pregnant on campus, everyone says a lot behind your back and to your face about how dumb you are for not aborting or how pathetic you are for thinking the boyfriend will stay when he is also just a student. It was a lot to handle, having disappointed my parents and feeling guilty they now had to support me during pregnancy while putting my sisters through school as well. But I knew keeping my baby was right for me, and I would make it somehow.
Cynthia told The Weight She Carries that thankfully her parents were quite supportive. She also learnt that this time allowed her to see her true friends because aside from some churchmates, only one or two friends stuck with her through this. She stated, “I realized trials do test the authenticity of friendship.”
How was the transition from a girl to being a wife and mother? What adjustments did you make? What challenges did you face?
Transition into mom and wife was tough. I had no clue and it does not help how many do’s and don’ts our culture has for women. I was bombarded by these from tetes (aunts) and other older women and it was overwhelming.
Bae-now-turned-hubby had also gone through his own confusing phase having to grow up and man up. I am grateful in all this, no one forced us to stay together. We decided to be together and start our life as a family. We navigated through all the pressures by coming up with our own norms and ways of doing things.
Cynthia explained that they were able to be a team, managing roles together. He would feed the baby while she took a nap or he would do the dishes while she bathed the baby.
We were a team with our own rules and of course most elders were disapproving, but we just carried on with what worked for us.
How did you deal with unemployment and how did you finally find your passion?
Unemployment was its own nightmare. Knowing you are smart and have skills but no one is willing to give you a chance is hard. I was retrenched, had my contracts terminated and was just fired all from jobs I believed I was competent in. I kept getting stuck in thoughts of not being good enough and that line they say: ‘you are just not a good fit for us.’ I believed it fully. It took my confidence and I carried that rejection to every other area of my life. I now thought I was not a good fit for anyone.
After one of my jobs ended, I sat down and did some introspection. Just how terrible was I and just how much was I a misfit in these work environments? I realised that some jobs I had lost because I just had different ethics and values to my employers.
Cynthia told The Weight She Carries that she was always fighting at the workplace for the causes she believed in when that’s not what the company was focused on. That’s when she realized that indeed she was not a good fit and for good reason, these organizations were not a good fit for her agenda.
I had always been conditioned, like many of us, to grow up, have a nice job that your parents can be proud of when they tell the neighbours. But I was not that girl, and it had to be okay. I knew my time had come to step into what I loved and knew I was good at. I didn’t know what that was yet, but I was definitely ready to start searching! It’s amazing how once you start asking questions, answers come to you.
As I kept thinking of what I wanted to do, I now knew it was not to become a psychologist, but it was still in that region. That’s when I sat down with one of our family friends who happened to be a life coach. I didn’t understand much about his profession, but when he started explaining what he did with people, I knew I wanted to be just that.
I continued to research and then got myself in a class and finished the certification and CeetheCoach was born. Since I started, I have helped a number of individuals whose lives have been transformed through my life coaching. I believe I’m walking in my purpose and have not looked back since.
What advice would you offer other women?
My advice is life is long and tough; don’t spend it doing things just so others can be happy with you. Ask yourself: What am I good at and how can I use that to solve a problem? How it can make money for you? If it does not generate income, then stay in a job and pursue your passion outside until it’s self-sustaining.
Keep people that grow you with their good advice and sometimes words of caution closest. Always remember you are the best person to teach people how to treat you. What you tolerate will become a standard they use for you.
There are many ways to do life and so your path doesn’t have to look like someone else’s. Find yourself and love that person, stay in that lane and continue to progress and develop your skills and abilities. The world needs more people who are walking in who they were created to be.
Sometimes you have to humble yourself and back down and sometimes you will have to jump in that ring and fight. Keep a sound and healthy mind so you will know when to do what.
What are some of your achievements?
I have had some time on Capitalk and Heart and Soul Radio. I have had my content featured in a small local magazine. I am currently working on my first book and getting my organization registered.
You can contact Cynthia on @ceethecoach on all social media platforms.