Redefining ‘Successful Relationships’

Relationships are no walk in the park; neither are they a bed of roses if both people involved do not put effort to make it work. Imagine two totally different individuals from differing backgrounds vowing to be together for life, for better and for worse.

I am no expert in love, but through personal experience, l know that it is a daunting task. Television and novels almost always paint a picture of bliss, smiles, roses and a lot of lovemaking whilst omitting the real and equally important stuff: responsibility, kids, bills, etc.

My love story began with a simple phrase that cut me really deep. Even to this day, l hold on to it and endeavour to fully comprehend its true meaning. It is in fact the yardstick with which l measure the success of my relationship thus far.

“You are my destiny.” That’s what he said the day we met. It sounded so simple, but the meaning is so vivid and life-altering. Me being somebody’s destiny means living unselfishly and always checking my step to ensure that my role as destiny keeper is fulfilled effectively. It’s easier said than done though.

Destiny is fate, a force that controls the future. I fail at it most of the time, but l am still willing to follow through with it no matter the obstacles. Some obstacles l go through and some l choose to go around to avoid strife and tension. There are bad days and good days, but mostly good for l would not still be here (if that weren’t the case).

The Bible, the greatest book of all time, in Proverbs 31 mentions a certain kind of woman. A perfect woman. Will l ever match up to such a remarkable woman? l do not know, but in my capacity, l will keep referring to that part of Scripture and jot down notes whenever l see myself slipping.

A successful relationship gets stronger when both parties involved are willing to understand mistakes and forgive each other, so they say. I mean how many mistakes can a carnal man such as l understand and forgive seventy times seven times a day?

A perfect relationship is not that you never get angry or upset with each other, but it is how quickly you both resolve the issues and bounce back to normal. So, to those who enjoy prolonged silent periods, you better stop.

To be honest, l see myself with this person for the rest of my life. No matter the issues and circumstances we might find ourselves in, I would like to think that l do have a working relationship. Falling and rising together is the ultimate success to me.

We are creatures of evolution, change and transition. As these processes are taking place, we ought to constantly adjust and check our relationships or else they might fall apart and the question will be: What happened to us?

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