In late 2019 I had the privilege of interviewing a woman named Priscillah Kabura. I remember it was morning for me and I sat in the car as I dialed her number. She was is Italy. For the next hour, I listened as she took me through the heartbreak she experienced that turned her into a single mother in Kenya, the financial crisis she lived through and how she ultimately chose better for herself. Priscillah is an inspiring woman. As I look back on her story, there are some thoughts I’d like to share with you.
Like many of us, Priscillah fell deeply in love as a teenager. We know how captivating new love can be. It can lead us to make all kinds of decisions we normally wouldn’t. I’ll pause to give you a moment to reflect 🙂
Signs of control showed up early in Priscillah’s relationship and unfortunately, as they often do, looked like love. She packed her bags, left the university her mother had already paid tuition for and went to live with her boyfriend.
“That was the beginning of the downfall for me,” Priscillah told me in 2019.
That decision eventually led to heartbreak, disappointment and abandonment. And things got worse when she found herself unable to provide for her son and had to relocate to the rural areas with her mother.
The cost of the solution
Along the way, an opportunity came up that would have solved her financial problems. At least that’s how it seemed. Her boss at the time offered her a proposition that seemed promising, but Priscillah realized that although it would have solved one problem, it was would have created a host of others.
“He told me I was a joker and that I needed to go find a house for us to live in together. ‘I’ll pay the house rent and you will move in with me,’ he said. I told him I could not do that. He then said that if I was unwilling to do that, he would fire me.”Priscillah Kabura
Sometimes in your darkest moment, a solution that seems promising will come. But when you weigh the cost, it will prove to be far more taxing on you. It’s important to count the cost whenever you are faced with a possible solution. Something that may solve your immediate need for money or other basic needs may cost you so much more mentally and emotionally.
The cost of choosing you
Turning her boss down resulted in Priscillah losing her job. Standing up for yourself always costs you something, but in the end it will be worth it. What I admire about Priscillah is that even though she did not choose herself when she was younger and abandoned her education to be with her then-boyfriend, she was determined to never make that same mistake again. And the moment she chose herself, things got worse, however, her circumstances eventually got better and now her life is drastically improved for the better.
Don’t be discouraged when things turn for the worse when you choose yourself. It’s disheartening and you may question whether you made the right decision. But God has a way of turning things around and a better solution will soon come. And that’s exactly what happened to Priscillah.
She encountered a few more setbacks that she detailed in her story linked below, but ultimately, she rose above the heartbreak and found her way to a fulfilled life.
“What I tell single mothers is to stand up and fight because you have children. It’s true…what happened is painful, but all is not lost. Face the pain and move on. If you have to go to school, go to school. If you have to run a business, run a business. Just remember that your life is yours and nobody else’s.” – Priscillah Kabura
Standing up for your yourself is always worth it. Read Priscillah Kabura’s full story:
Vimbai E. is a writer, journalist, ghostwriter and the founder of The Weight She Carries. With hundreds of articles publishing online, in print and for broadcast, her love of language and storytelling shines through every piece of writing that bears her name.