TWSC Submission: Surviving the Loss of my Baby

The loss of a loved one is a very painful and heartbreaking ordeal, especially when the loved one is your child. No one should ever bury their child, but due to life’s vicissitudes, this occurs more often than it should.

Thobekile Moyo narrated to
The Weight She Carries how she lost her precious baby girl in 2014.

My name is Thobekile Moyo. I grew up in Gwanda but later relocated to Harare where l finished my education at Waddilove School. I am 43 and currently have three kids aged 20,12 and 15 months old. Although it is difficult to talk about, l will share my story just to help someone out there.

In 2013, l fell pregnant and in 2014 gave birth to Marilyn Thandeka Moyo. I was so happy for this girl because l had waited a long time to have her and so soon after delivery, l began calling friends and relatives letting them know that it was a girl. She was perfect at 3.6 kgs (7.9 lbs).

Everything was okay until the 10th of August that same year when she started going through some fits. She was 5 months old. l panicked since my husband was on night shift. I called him and we rushed to the hospital with the baby.

At the hospital, baby was given medication and some was prescribed but [she] continued to breathe heavily even after we had left the clinic. There was nothing further we could do since the pharmacy was closed being so late.

Early the next morning, my mother and sister met with me at the clinic and my baby showed signs of improvement. My mom spent the day with us and at midnight, baby produced a purple poo. l asked my mother what was happening in confusion.

Thobekile continued to narrate how at the hospital she knew her baby was dying.

You feel it when something is going wrong, especially when the baby was not crying during the administration of injections and drips. It was a painful experience although my mother tried to comfort me. The doctor spoke of meningitis, but they still needed to perform further tests to confirm their diagnosis. My baby at this time was motionless and clenching her teeth, but l continued to pray for a miracle. We were ultimately admitted at around 3 a.m. At this point, l could feel that l was losing my baby.

Sadly, Marylin passed away within three hours of being admitted to the hospital.

When the doctor informed me that my daughter had passed on, l took her and held her against my chest and even asked why she was still warm. I cried and could not control myself. Grief causes one to feel like [harming themselves]. During that time, l recall looking out the window and wanting to jump out because l did not see the reason to live. But l remembered my older children and moved away from the window. At just five months, my baby was snatched away from me.

As a way of comforting herself, Thobekile puts up her baby’s photo every 9th of March despite protests from family and friends who knew her baby.

Relatives and friends can comfort you, but only you have the power to overcome the grief. During my time of grief, l turned to prayer as a way of easing the pain and soon realized that God gives and He takes away accordingly. He gave me Marilyn for those five precious months and He took back His angel.

To anyone who has lost a child, know that it is not the end of the world because in 2018, God gave me another baby girl. She is 15 months old now. Accepting what had happened helped me a lot. Yes, I do miss my baby everyday, but l try not to cling to those thoughts because life must go on despite the situations we go through.

3 Replies to “TWSC Submission: Surviving the Loss of my Baby”

  1. S Mehlo

    I also lost a child sure it seems you are all alone even when others are there .It has been six years but it never goes away for she was part of my life .Time heals and strong belief in God

  2. Nompumelelo Mhlanga

    I’ve lost a baby boy too in 2016 , he was 6 weeks old, i cant imagine the pain but God of miracles gave me a bouncing baby boy in 2018 same month, he is two years now. He cannot replace the other one but I’m humbled to have him.

  3. Cecilia David

    Truly it’s a heartpiercing moment.l lost my beloved son aged 19 recently.Sometimes l weep but above all l look up to God Thank him for giving me my son.l love him forever.God will calm me.

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