TWSC Submission: Why I Chose to Forgive

As we were walking back home after church service, my friends and I discussed the sermon on forgiveness. We agreed that forgiveness seems easy when someone tells you to forgive, but forgetting is the hardest part. The thought of how you were wronged keeps recurring in your mind and you become angry again.

Walking with us was an elderly woman, a widow with four grown children. She joined in on our conversation and said forgiveness was easier if we put our heart to it. We said it wasn’t and she shared her story with us. It touched me, and I wanted to share it with you.

She narrated her story:

I was twenty when I met this handsome man, and we fell in love. He patiently waited for me to complete college and did right by me. He paid my bride price and we had a beautiful wedding. It was a dream come true. Eventually we had four children, two boys and two girls; and despite small disputes here and there, we were a happy family.

We built a beautiful home in the low-density suburbs. When my last born was around six, we began to have conflict in our home. I didn’t understand who my husband had become, and it was like I was living with a monster in my own home.

He would hit me, and at first, I didn’t tell anyone; but eventually, I told my sisters. They wouldn’t have it and told me to move out. I moved out and he didn’t bother to stop me. I began renting a place in the high-density suburbs where I lived with my kids.

My oldest child was in high school and I had to see to it that my children went to school. Their father never contributed a dime. Thank God I had a decent paying job and didn’t struggle much to pay for their school.

There was one thing I never left: prayer. I prayed each and every day. I told God that he had promised me a prosperous life, and that I was never going to suffer. I also prayed for the spirit of forgiveness. Eventually, I began asking for forgiveness on behalf of my estranged husband.

My children loved their father but they had seen how much I had suffered, so they didn’t mind that we had separated. I never stopped them from seeing their father. My husband started living with another woman who had two children from another marriage. Things were going well for them. It really hurt me at first, but I let go and focused on making sure my children were comfortable.

Three years later, my husband had a conflict with the woman he was staying with and she moved out, leaving him all alone. His health deteriorated and he was in and out of hospital. There was no one to take care of him, and there came my biggest test. I was the only one who could step in and help. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and needed all the help he could get.

I looked at him and thought of what this man had put me through, but remembered that vengeance is the Lord’s. I had to cast that out of my mind and focus on making him comfortable, so I moved in with him.

His last few days were painful but at least I was there to see to it that he was comfortable. A lot of people were unhappy with me moving in with him considering the history we had, but I had to turn a deaf ear and do what I felt was right.

He asked for forgiveness and told me how much he regretted ever letting me go, and that he didn’t deserve the help I was giving him. I just smiled and continued helping him until he took his last breath. I was right by his side.

Now, my daughters, if I hadn’t forgiven my husband and I had left him to die with no one by his side, how would I be feeling right now? I would have to live with that guilt.

[ctt template=”5″ link=”a9g32″ via=”no” ]If you don’t forgive, you hold a grudge that only eats you up inside while the person you are angry with is living their life happily. There is more to life than holding grudges, forgive and let go.[/ctt]

Sometimes, the people that hurt us are actually our stepping stones. They teach us lessons that help us in future. Whenever someone wrongs you, take it as a lesson and don’t hold it against them. Pray for them and for yourself. Life is too short to hold grudges, focus on things that matter.

When you are decide to forgive, remember it will not be easy. There will be constant reminders of how much you went through because of that person, but you have to choose to ignore those reminders and know what you stand for. You have more to gain in forgiving than in holding onto that grudge. Relieve yourself of that burden and live a happier life.

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