Category: The Beauty of Pain

  • A Mother’s Advice to Others Grieving the Loss of a Child

    March 2014 was one of the happiest times in Bubele Busisiwe Ndlovu’s life. “I was happy just like any normal woman would be, happy to know l was expecting and on the twenty fifth of November l gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and named him Prince. I loved him wholeheartedly,” Bubele told The Weight She Carries. Due to financial difficulties, Bubele and her husband decided to take Prince to his paternal grandmother until their situation improved. “When my husband informed me that my baby was not looking well l thought maybe he was being beaten or abused over there.”  Nothing prepared her for the events that took place two weeks after her husband visited Prince. “It was a… Continue reading "A Mother’s Advice to Others Grieving the Loss of a Child"

  • The Beauty of a Scar

    Eight years ago I was in a car accident. When I was pulled out of the mangled vehicle, I didn’t realize I had an open cut until I saw blood running down my leg. It’s funny how something doesn’t hurt as bad until you see blood and an open wound. Then all of a sudden, the pain is unbearable. I remember arriving at the hospital and hearing the doctor telling me that I needed stitches. I didn’t want stitches because I didn’t want anyone touching my wound and making it any more painful than it already was. So I was protective over my leg. “Can’t you just leave it and let it heal on its own?” I remember asking him.… Continue reading "The Beauty of a Scar"

  • Her Pain is my Testimony

    I vividly remember my mother’s words each time I would infuriate her. I had no idea what she meant at the time, but I got so used to hearing her words that I would imitate her. After all, I had been hearing them all my life. Each time we would play “house,” my goal would be to play the motherly role. When “my kids” misbehaved, I would carelessly mimic my mother: “Is this the thanks I get after the 2 months and 3 days in the hospital? I am your only mother and you will never have another. I endured all that pain so you could live.” I never bothered to get to know her story. All I could see… Continue reading "Her Pain is my Testimony"

  • How I Stumbled Into Writing And Found My Footing

    Seeing doctors going about their duties intrigued me as a young girl. I avidly recall dreaming about owning a medical facility of my own and being a medical practitioner. The idea of writing was out of the question. The only other two things I loved were public speaking and music. Clutching my ordinary level result slip in my hands, a smile broadened on my face as I realized that I was taking the first steps towards realizing my lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. As my excitement continued to brew, my dream suffered its first snag. Fellow students who I looked up to as gurus in science subjects failed their public examinations and I got a rude awakening, and it… Continue reading "How I Stumbled Into Writing And Found My Footing"

  • My Tears Don’t Mean I’m Not Strong

    We keep hearing the same message phrased differently over and over again: Big girls don’t cry. I came across three different women all going through the same pain, the same experience and the same stigma. They were all trying to deal with the pain of being sexually abused, but of course, those around them felt they were doing it the wrong way. Grace had been told more than once that, “Big girls don’t cry.” She was supposed to find another way to deal with her pain that didn’t include shedding tears. Mercy felt slighted by her mother’s words: “Why do you keep crying? Grow up out of your pain and move on.” Then there was Ruth whose friends kept telling… Continue reading "My Tears Don’t Mean I’m Not Strong"