There’s a lot I didn’t like about myself…
My skin – I used to have allergies and would have big wounds that would dry up and become very ugly scars. They looked like boils.
My hair – It looked dry and dusty, even when it was clean and blow-dried. It felt risky, and I didn’t have full hair on my head.
My size – I didn’t like how tiny I was because I was like the smallest in every group I existed in.
The texture of my hands…
But the biggest thing I didn’t like was my voice because it came out with lots of authority, and sometimes, it felt as though I was commanding things. I didn’t have a typical feminine voice that is high-pitched and sweet. My voice was deeper, and it has always been deep.
When other people would whisper, I couldn’t whisper. I would get people in trouble because my whispers were more of vibrations, like someone speaking in a deep voice. So I held back a lot of times.
I also wasn’t so eloquent growing up, especially in English, and so I never spoke publicly. I would get really nervous. I would cry sometimes if I were asked to introduce myself.
The Turning Point
Looking back, my voice has connected me to so many people. My voice has opened so many doors for me. The feedback I get from people is that I have a soothing, healing, gentle voice. That’s not what I heard growing up.
I have learnt to appreciate my voice because it’s a tool of healing, and it’s also one of the things that helps me connect with other people. Scripture reminds us that we are created in God’s image. Therefore, we have the power to create with our words. We have the power to heal with our words and our voices. That’s why I now embrace my voice again.
The scripture that says that we are called to be a voice to the voiceless [Proverbs 31:8-9]. I took that scripture personally. I know I have a rich voice, though other people may think it’s a big voice. It’s a cheerful voice that brings healing. It brings life, it brings joy. And I’m so grateful for this gift that I once detested. I am so grateful for it, for the joy it brings around and for the healing that it brings to many souls around me.
